One day, somebody invited you for a dinner in a fancy ‘katkat’ resto and, of course, you say ‘Yes’ (bes, minsan lang to. Gorabels na!). At the resto, you we’re surprised kase naman bat ang raming spoons and forks sa table pero sige, gora lang, pang iPhone 7 din to (lol joke!). However, you feel out of place kase most of the people sa resto are speaking English and bes, ang damit mo mag ka-camouflage na ata sa tablecloth and people are starting to look at you! (Ghad! Need help!)
Isn’t that’s embarrassing? Para di na yun maulit o di man lang mangyari sa inyo mga bes, here’s the “Etiquette for Katkats in Dining at a Fancy Restaurant.
Dress up Nicely and Accordingly
Bes, una sa lahat alam kong ayaw mong mag mukhang tablecloth with matching flower vase and sunflowers sa damit mo, diba? Just be simple yet elegant! Avoid dresses that are extravagantly designed with lots of raffles, slits and folds all around you. Try to mix and match.
Better to dress yourself according to who you are dining with or according to the purpose of the dinner. Kung ininvite ka ni boss na mag dinner, dress formally hindi yung mag bu-blusang itim na with matching 5-inch stilettoes and a cleavage showcase (bes etiquette for katkats to, hindi for mistresses!)
Act like a Beauty Queen
Enter the resto like you’re walking in a catwalk. Walk and act with poise. (Pak! Ganern!) Always level your face in an eye level, don’t slouch, move modestly (Amor Powers lang bes?). Di dapat tayo napag hahalataan na ‘Katkat’ bes! Act like you’re a CEO or wife of a CEO. Sit in the middle of the chair, don’t lean your back on the chair to maintain the poise (Pak! Pak! Ganern! Ganern!).
No Personal Stuffs on the Table Please!
Keep all your things away. Bawal mag lagay nang phone, bag or anything that can distract everyone in the resto. Bes, kahit iPhone7s plus pa yan or Louis Vuitton from UK-UK, keber sila coz they can buy more than one. They can even buy you, your date, and the restaurant (Ganern!). Don’t make your date get bored kase mas iniuna mo pa ang phone mo kesa sa kanya.
Always keep your things away from the eyesight. Ilagay mo sa baba tabi ng chair mo bes para easy hulbot na lang if emergency calls.
Order the Easiest to Utter (but make sure you know what you are ordering)
Omorder ng naayon sa panglasa at sa kayang mabigkas. Bes, mahirap ng may makarinig sayo na mali ang pag pronounce mo ng Foie Gras (Fwah Grah) or Bruschetta (Broo Sket Tuh) (Ginoogle ko lang yan, wag kang ano!). Nawawala poise natin yan. Pero kung wala ka talagang mabigkas sa menu nila kase galing pang Mars ang Chef na gumawa ng menu, it’s safe to say “I’ll have the same”, in that way, you can save your ass from being beaten (English yun ha!).
Know When and How to Use the Utensils
Lahat ng utensils dyan sa table may purpose. Know when and how to use it bes (Refer to the image above). Wag mong intayin na magkaroon ka ng “Fancy Restaurant Utensils 101” with the waiter or worst, with your date, bad image yan! Kung di ka nakapag research sa mga gamit neto, gayahin mo na lang yung ka date mo.
Take a Food pic!
My ghad bes, minsan ka na lang makapag fancy restaurant kaya lubos lubosin mo na lang. Isa o dalawa keri na. Wag ka nang sumubra kase nagmumukha kang ignorant nyan bes. Hindi perfect and pagiging katkat natin kung walang documentations diba? Keri lang yan sa date mo basta wag ka lang magpahalata. Turn off the flash and shutter sound bes, di mo naman siguro gustong mag grab ng attention sa mga restaurant goers.
Don’t Act too Hungry
Alam kong alam mong naghihirap tayong mga katkat kaya kapag na invite ng dinner, why say no, right? Pero bes, hinay-hinay baka mabulonan ka at yan pa ang dahilan ng kamatayin mo. Kuha ka lang ng kaunti tapos dagdagan mo naman pag naubos na. Wag kang gumawa ng dahilan para hindi kana magka part 2 sa same fancy restaurant kase na turn off na yung date mo.
Don’t Yell at the Waiter
Bes, it’s a mortal Katkat sin to yell to anyone especially when you’re at a fancy restaurant. Kung nabulonan kana dahil nagpaka baboy ka sa pagkain mo at wala kanang tubig, just simply raise your right hand while your index finger raised slightly and the waiter will assist you agad. Wag kang kumaway-kaway, nagmumukha kang Maneki-neko (lucky cat) sa ginagawa mo. Bes kahit nabulonan kana, stay graceful and modest. Signature natin yan!
Cap Your Dinner with a Proper Utensil Placing
End your dinner properly. Bes, wag kanang pahumble humble na ikaw pa yung nag lilinis ng pinagkainan nyo, my ghad! that is not so katkat. Let the waiters do their job.
Don’t place your utensils at the side of your plate when you’re done eating. Kapag kumain ka sa isang fancy resto, may protocol yan sila na sinusunod on how to determine if the customer is done eating. When you’re finished, place the knife and fork together at the 10:20 position on the plate. Place the fork up because in the American style you eat with the tines up. In that way, di kana tatawag pa sa mga waiter for them to clean up your table. They will just go to your table and clean it up.
Burrp!
Ayan bes, ready kana to eat at a fancy restaurant! Keep this in mind na kahit sino man kadate or kameeting mo, always think you’re more than what they think you are. In this world, we are the availers club. If you can’t beat them, join them. Always remember, once a Katkat always a Katkat! Laban lang bes para sa ekonomiya!